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JOKES
Started by socalgold at 12-19-2007 10:06 AM. Topic has 6 replies.
  
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 12-19-2007, 10:06 AM
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socalgold
 
Joined on 01-25-2006
Fighting for Miners Rights & Our Civil Liberties
Posts 2,006
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You've Probably heard these before but they're still funny as hell!!!
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour
(Don't try this at home, maybe at work)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
(Honey, I'm home. What the.............?!)
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes... Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)
Butterflies taste with their feet .
(Something I always wanted to
know.)
Right-handed people
live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good
thing)
A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
( I know some people like that.)
Starfish have no brains
(I know some people like that too.)
Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)
I Love My Country
It's the government I'm Afraid OF
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12-19-2007, 7:57 PM
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Alabamasam
Joined on 02-24-2006
Hillsboro, AL
Posts 613
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Quote:(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)
I believe you have already gotten that wish
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12-20-2007, 9:39 AM
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socalgold
Joined on 01-25-2006
Fighting for Miners Rights & Our Civil Liberties
Posts 2,006
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She always shoots from the hip. I knew that wouldn't slide past her.
I Love My Country
It's the government I'm Afraid OF
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12-20-2007, 10:18 AM
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twig/al
Joined on 01-24-2006
Gadsden, Alabama
Posts 4,627
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Alabamasam, GET HIM SAM!!!!
twig/al
Alabama Prospecting Supply
www.alabamaprospectingsupply.com
Email: tom@alabamaprospectingsupply.com
Southeast Treasure Hunters Forum
www.southeasttreasurehunters.com
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12-20-2007, 4:21 PM
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Herschel
Joined on 01-30-2006
Monterey, Louisiana
Posts 3,149
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Lee, you pig!!!
Herschel
"Chief Instigator"
Stop "Poly-Ticks" in Washington!!
(definitian)
Poly: many
Ticks: blood suckin' insects
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12-22-2007, 2:24 PM
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ccv_NC
Joined on 01-25-2006
minneapolis NC
Posts 524
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HERSCHEL LEE IS A PIG? AND YOU HAVE A PM. LATER
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Gold Grubbin' C... » Administrators » JOKES » Trivia
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