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11-27-2007, 4:01 PM perrymk Joined on 06-20-2006 Posts 33 Why men don't wrap Christmas gifts Why men don't wrap Christmas gifts This is the time of year when we think back to the very first Christmas, when the Three Wise Men; Gaspar, Balthazar and Herb, went to see the baby Jesus and, according to the Book of Matthew, "presented unto Him gifts; gold, frankincense, and myrrh. These are simple words, but if we analyze them carefully, we discover an important, yet often overlooked, theological fact: There is no mention of wrapping paper. If there had been wrapping paper, Matthew would have said so: "And lo, the gifts were inside 600 square cubits of paper. And the paper was festooned with pictures of Frosty the Snowman. And Joseph was going to throweth it away, but Mary saideth unto him, she saideth, 'Holdeth it! That is nice paper! Saveth it for next year!' And Joseph did rolleth his eyeballs. And the baby Jesus was more interested in the paper than the frankincense." But these words do not appear in the Bible, which means that the very first Christmas gifts were NOT wrapped. This is because the people giving those gifts had two important characteristics: 1. They were wise. 2. They were men. Men are not big gift wrappers. Men do not understand the point of putting paper on a gift just so somebody else can tear it off. This is not just my opinion: This is a scientific fact based on a statistical survey of two guys I know. One is Tom, who said the only time he ever wraps a gift is "if it's such a poor gift that I don't want to be there when the person opens it." The other is Charles, who told me he does wrap gifts, but as a matter of principle never takes more than 15 seconds per gift. "No one ever had to wonder which presents daddy wrapped at Christmas," Robert said. "They were the ones that looked like enormous spitballs." I also wrap gifts, but because of some defect in my motor skills, I can never completely wrap them. I can take a gift the size of a deck of cards and put it the exact center of a piece of wrapping paper the size of a regulation volleyball court, but when I am done folding and taping, you can still see a sector of the gift peeking out. (Sometimes I camouflage this sector with a marking pen.) If I had been an ancient Egyptian in the field of mummies, the lower half of the Pharaoh's body would be covered only by Scotch tape. On the other hand, if you give my wife a 12-inch square of wrapping paper, she can wrap a C-130 cargo plane. My wife, like many women, actually likes wrapping things. If she gives you a gift that requires batteries, she wraps the batteries separately, which to me is very close to being a symptom of mental illness. If it were possible, my wife would wrap each individual volt. My point is that gift-wrapping is one of those skills like having babies that come more naturally to women than to men. That is why today I am presenting: GIFT-WRAPPING TIPS FOR MEN: * Whenever possible, buy gifts that are already wrapped. If, when the recipient opens the gift, neither one of you recognizes it, you can claim that it's myrrh. * The editors of Woman's Day magazine recently ran an item on how to make your own wrapping paper by printing a design on it with an apple sliced in half horizontally and dipped in a mixture of food coloring and liquid starch. They must be smoking crack. * If you're giving a hard-to-wrap gift, skip the wrapping paper! Just put it inside a bag and stick one of those little adhesive bows on it. This creates a festive visual effect that is sure to delight the lucky recipient on Christmas morning: YOUR WIFE: Why is there a Hefty trash bag under the tree? YOU: It's a gift! See? It has a bow! YOUR WIFE (peering into the trash bag): It's a leaf blower. YOU: Gas-powered! Five horsepower! YOUR WIFE: I want a divorce. YOU: I also got you some myrrh. In conclusion, remember that the important thing is not what you give, or how you wrap it. The important thing, during this very special time of year, is that . . . you save the receipt. ~ Male author unknown~    Report

11-27-2007, 4:55 PM Kev NC Joined on 01-25-2006 Lexington NC Posts 1,406 Re: Why men don't wrap Christmas gifts I got this one figured out years ago. You have your wife buy her own gifts that way she gets what she wants and you stay out of trouble. EXAMPLES You see a pair of pants you think she will like so you buy the size you think she would wear(did you catch the word think in there) 1) it will be the wrong color and style 2) it will be the wrong size it doesn't matter if it's to small your in trouble if it's to big your in deep SH**! And if she is like my wife she will wrap her own gifts because she knows I don't wrap gifts. I hope y'all understand this also means you get to buy your own gifts!!!! No more tie's, shirts, pants and that stuff you get things you can really use. Example I got a metal detector for my birthday, I'm getting a LeTrap, and a carry bag for the detector for Christmas. Last year I got a 4 inch dredge for 4th of July well that was a little bit of a stretch but I still have the dredge. And I never had to wrap a gift. And when the gift giving is over everyone is happy till I look at the bank statment. Kev    Report

11-27-2007, 5:06 PM Herschel Joined on 01-30-2006 Monterey, Louisiana Posts 3,149 Re: Why men don't wrap Christmas gifts Y'all see, Kev is a "wise man" too. He don't wrap gifts. Herschel "Chief Instigator" Stop "Poly-Ticks" in Washington!! (definitian) Poly: many Ticks: blood suckin' insects    Report

11-27-2007, 6:15 PM twig/al Joined on 01-24-2006 Gadsden, Alabama Posts 4,627 Re: Why men don't wrap Christmas gifts Ho! Ho! Ho! .......... Your right about one thing, well maybe more!!! It is guarantied to be the wrong color, size, or style... It will not be the one she wanted... The one she wanted was next to it and looks the same... Never mind that you just got some underwear that has red polka dots and are about 10 sizes too big!!! lol... You might as well face it, the GUY is always wrong!!! lol... I am going into hiding now!!! (For personal safety reasons!!!) Alabama Prospecting Supply www.alabamaprospectingsupply.com Email: tom@alabamaprospectingsupply.com Southeast Treasure Hunters Forum www.southeasttreasurehunters.com    Report

11-27-2007, 7:02 PM Gold seeker Joined on 06-03-2006 Bluffton South Carolina Posts 475 Re: Why men don't wrap Christmas gifts The thing I get from my wife, is "ALL" the money I earn and bring home is "OUR" money, but the money she earns is "HER" money!!!! Actually, I'm very good at wrapping presents, but I don't let'er know that, and unless it is jewelry, I just give her a gift card, or some of "OUR" money and let her buy what she wants!! (the funny thing is that she will buy the "right size" and then complain that manufacturer put the wrong size label in the garment!!!) LOL Skip Email: den7cubs"at"hargray.com Seek and Ye Shall Find, and when you find It thank GOD!!! Treat the Earth well It was not given to you by your Parents, It was loaned to you by your Children.    Report

11-27-2007, 7:35 PM GasCan/SW-GA Joined on 01-25-2006 Summerville, Ga Posts 653 Re: Why men don't wrap Christmas gifts I'm going to stay out of this except to say, my wife has been buying her presents, and mine for so long, and I'm too old to change, I'll just keep doing the same, LOL. At least she gets what she wants, but I don't always, because I won't tell her what I want. GasCan/NW-GA, Formerly SW-GA    Report

11-27-2007, 7:56 PM Alabamasam Joined on 02-24-2006 Hillsboro, AL Posts 613 Re: Why men don't wrap Christmas gifts Now if you gents would like to keep outta the dog house, I would like a gold nugget from each of you or this goes out to your wifves in the morning! Yep, they will be the right size, style and color    Report

11-27-2007, 8:22 PM Gold seeker Joined on 06-03-2006 Bluffton South Carolina Posts 475 Re: Why men don't wrap Christmas gifts Did I hear somebody say BLACKMAIL!!! Skip Email: den7cubs"at"hargray.com Seek and Ye Shall Find, and when you find It thank GOD!!! Treat the Earth well It was not given to you by your Parents, It was loaned to you by your Children.    Report

11-28-2007, 5:24 AM navydoc Joined on 01-25-2006 Jacksonville, N.C. Posts 1,466 Re: Why men don't wrap Christmas gifts My wife will go to the store, buy her own gift, wrap it, and put a "from" tag with my name on it then place it under the tree for me.....says it keeps the romance alive!! 'doc One shot....One Kill! 'nough said.    Report

11-28-2007, 1:04 PM shellyrat Joined on 05-30-2007 kentucky Posts 176 Re: Why men don't wrap Christmas gifts Oh my gosh this is so funny. Goldseeker , your wife and I must be related. Our money is mine,my money is mine his money is mine. Go figure.LOL One thing about guys is why do you wait till 10 min before Christmas to go shopping? I have never figured that one out. Shopping and thinking is most of the fun. Hubby is horrible at gift giving. One year there was a gift under the tree from him for me. This in itself was not normal. Oh boy he's finally getting it, a surprise. I waited and waited for Christmas. I got a router!!!!!!! Not funny at all. Suggestion,dont give yourself a gift and label it for your wife.We may smile but inside we will be really pissed! Lets just say it was the last holiday he tried to be funny with the presents. But all you guys can take comfort in the gift bags they have now. Plop and drop and tape. And there you have it. Looks good keeps the mystery and saves you face. Kathy C in KY Life is what happens while your busy making other plans !    Report

11-28-2007, 2:55 PM Dixiedredger Joined on 11-18-2006 Charlotte, NC Posts 897 Re: Why men don't wrap Christmas gifts Now anybody who thought they had it good.... listen to this..... I've talked mine into..........wait for it....... just spendin' it all on the kids.... that's what christmas is about.... the kids! I've been doin' so much, with with so little, for so long.... I can do almost anything, with nothing!!!! WWW.dixieprospector.com    Report

11-29-2007, 8:45 AM shellyrat Joined on 05-30-2007 kentucky Posts 176 Re: Why men don't wrap Christmas gifts dixie dredger you dont know how blessed you are. All my babies have fur. Thats not by choice. Hubby has grown ones that dont think he should have remarried. When we go to someones home for the holidays and watch all the kids all excited about santa I think how lucky you are and you dont even know it. I wish I did have little ones to spend it on . Enjoy those shiny little eyes on christmas morning and thank the lord for your blessings. KC in ky Life is what happens while your busy making other plans !    Report

11-29-2007, 9:57 AM Dixiedredger Joined on 11-18-2006 Charlotte, NC Posts 897 Re: Why men don't wrap Christmas gifts One thing I do know.... is exactly how lucky I am to have my little girl..... In trying to give her a sibling.... we have had 4 miscarrages in the last 18 months... and have now decided to adopt a child from Russia. By next summer (if all goes well) we should have a new child. Between now and then we will have to go to Russia twice for 10 days each. Now ya'll know why I wasn't on the river much this past summer... and probably wont be next year either...... some things need more care than my silly hobbies! I've been doin' so much, with with so little, for so long.... I can do almost anything, with nothing!!!! WWW.dixieprospector.com    Report

11-29-2007, 1:12 PM monkey Joined on 01-31-2006 Millbrook, AL Posts 137 Re: Why men don't wrap Christmas gifts Dixie,    I am so sorry that you had to go through the miscarriages. My wife and I went through two a year and a half ago, and it was very hard. I buried it deep inside and finally had to let it out. Then we were blessed with a baby boy that will be 10mths tomorrow.  I know that it was hard to go through that, but your blessing will be this Russian child that needs a home. My wife's cousin is a missionary in Peru. They tried and tried to have kids ( the doctors could find nothing wrong with them), but God had other plans because they have adopted two children: One from Costa Rica when they were taking Spanish classes, and one from Peru. I know that we did not want to hear this when we were going through the hard times, but everything has a purpose. People you would never guess that had miscarriages came forward to help us through, and one day we will be able to help someone else in the same situation and so will you. Take care and good luck with the adoption. We will be praying for you. Arthur    Report

11-29-2007, 3:56 PM shellyrat Joined on 05-30-2007 kentucky Posts 176 Re: Why men don't wrap Christmas gifts So sorry about the miscarriages dixie. But you have something very special to look forward to in heaven. My momma had 4 miscarriages and I look forward to seeing my siblings one of these days. Russia wow. Some little kid is gonna be one lucky child. God bless in your adoption. And all y'all kiss your babies every chance you get for me. KC in KY Life is what happens while your busy making other plans !    Report

11-29-2007, 4:42 PM Gold seeker Joined on 06-03-2006 Bluffton South Carolina Posts 475 Re: Why men don't wrap Christmas gifts Dixiedredger, Your post is very moving, in more ways than one!! I wish you all the luck with your upcoming adoption! My family and I will be praying for you and your family. Shellyrat, your post has moved me as well, sometimes when our kids are driving NUTS, we don't think how it would be without them!!!, THANK YOU for reminding me how lucky we are to have them!!!!! Thanks, Skip Email: den7cubs"at"hargray.com Seek and Ye Shall Find, and when you find It thank GOD!!! Treat the Earth well It was not given to you by your Parents, It was loaned to you by your Children.    Report

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